It's always hot here, so just get naked.

The American perception of Brazilian’s modesty is completely accurate, these people like to be naked or close to it. They do, however, really like to dress up their dogs in little outfits and sweaters. Animal attire is often less revealing than that of their owners. I haven’t seen a one-piece bathing suit in this country, and bikini bottoms that cover butt cheeks are rare. All men wear speedos, some while riding bikes or jogging or walking around town. No body part is really left to the imagination here, a day at the beach leaves me feeling as though I’ve seen more body parts that a naughty film director. This would not actually be that bad, everybody likes to see skin, but it gets interesting when EVERYBODY wears these items, fat or skinny, short or tall, young or old. I asked a local about the concept of wearing little to no clothing when you don’t really have the body for it. He told me “A larger body is what it is, what can you do about it?” My response: “Wear more clothing.” The general rules of American decency tend to be:

1)If I can’t tell you are wearing a bathing suit because it is swallowed up in your skin, you should get a larger bathing suit with more material.

2)If you are a female over the age of 50, I should not be able to see your belly button unless I can also see ripped abdominal muscles underneath it.

3)Men have it easier because they can really rock a good body into their late age, but speedos are generally not acceptable at any age unless you are a competitive swimmer or water polo player.


That being said, I think the trade off of seeing more body than we care to see in order to see more than we normally would of some seriously great bodies has worked well for the city. Since that’s the case, let it all hang out people, even if it is dimpled and jiggly. Keep on chugging grandma, you work that thong and triangle bikini top while you jog along the beach, just be careful to not trip on those things that used to be fixed to your upper body.